Kina Malpartida and Halana Dos Santos, in: Championship Fight (a barroom sketch)

Kina vs. Halana, in:
Championship Fight (a barroom sketch)

June 20, 2009


Sitting in a bar in with my buddies in Lima, Peru watching the world woman’s Boxing Championship bout called “Champion of the Poor,” between Kina Malpartida, of Peru and Halana Dos Santos of Brazil…and


“I never saw a female boxer fight so hard to the styles of a man before, and with near the same strength, clean and swift and as beautiful as Mohammad Ali. There never was a woman like that. She moved just like a bull and tiger both in one, like Rocky Marciano, she was a little nervous at first though.” Lee told his drinking buddy, Enrique.
“Do you know her?” one of the men asked sitting next to Enrique, in the bar.
“Did I know her? I know about her like you know about nobody in the world and I love boxing like you love the God of Wine (the man was drinking a glass of Trapiche, Malbec, 2008, red wine, from Argentina.) She is the greatest, finest, Peruvian, most stunning woman boxer that ever lived, and Halana couldn’t put her down like a dog, as she thought she might.”
“Did you go down and see the fight?” asked the stranger.
“No. I was right here, it just ended. She’s the only female boxer worth her salt.”
Lee tried to be respectful to the bald headed wino, who said all this in a high melodramatic way, but Enrique was starting to shake his head as the stranger leaned over by him.
“You should have married her,” said the wino.
“It wouldn’t have hurt her career,” said Lee, to the bald headed wino, “but I’m already married.”
“Well I guess that’s a drawback, a husband isn’t what she really needs anyhow,” said the stranger.
“Gosh, what a fighter she was,” repeated Lee.
“That is a fine way to look at it,” commented Enrique, his brother-in-law, “Didn’t Kina knock her out, it happened so fast I didn’t get to see the end result?”
“A technical knockout is what they call it,” said Lee, “she was in the corner, and it was curtains, had they not stopped the fight.”
“It was a trick,” said the wino, “the Peruvian took Halana by surprise.”
“Kina knocked her down,” said Lee.
“She turned to smile at me, and that got the Peruvian the knockout!” remarked the wino.
“I thought you said you weren’t at the fight?” said Lee.
“No, you said you were not at the fight, I went out just for the fight.”
“It was a great fight,” remarked Enrique, then whispered to Lee, “I hope to god this creep leaves.”
“How can you say that?” said the wino to Lee and Enrique.
“I say it because it’s true,” Enrique said. “I’m the only one here sitting next to you, leave us in peace.”
“What did he say?” said the wino to Lee.
“He said you’re a drunken wino, and he knows Kina and she’s going to come here after the fight and knock the shit out of you for bothering her brother-in-law.”
“It’s a lie,” the wino said.
“It’s true,” Enrique said, “That’s truly what he said.”
“It’s a lie,” the wino said proudly.
And just then, some woman next to the wino hauled off and hit the wino, and he fell on the floor, and she said, “And it doesn’t make any difference to me whether you believe it or not, I’m the sister-in-law of Kina,” and the drunk just smiled as he looked up at her, and said, “It could be possible.”



Written one day after the fight, 6-21-2009
Inspired by, and dedicated to: Kina Malpartida.